February 26, 2021
How do you help your clients “flip the spin?”
I was working with a client the other day and we were uncovering some deeply entangled beliefs about who she was. Some of the beliefs that she verbalized were | I am unlovable. I am not enough. I am alone. We sat with those beliefs momentarily. I allowed her the space to feel into them and to become aware of the emotion (or vibration) that was generated when she leaned into those beliefs. She felt Isolated, Disconnected, Unworthy.
These beliefs were seething into her everyday life and affecting how she was showing up in the world. Because I was able to hold space by inquiring in a non-judgmental and curious way, she felt a sense safety and comfort to lean in a little more, even though what she was sensing in her body was uncomfortable and painful. Eventually the emotions started to give way. She noticed the tension in her belly started to let up. Energy began to move again. The chronic pain she felt in her right knee suddenly began to change and soften. She was relieved.
The way I see it, flipping the spin doesn’t always mean having your client shift from “negative” beliefs to “positive” beliefs. In fact, that’s generally not what we want to do.
Here are 5 steps to flipping the spin:
- Have your client verbalize belief that is causing pain or suffering
- Invite them to pause and lean in. Hold space.
- Have them sense into where that belief is held in their body
- Pause and lean in. Hold space.
- Allow it to shift on its own – the body is intelligent
- And… lastly — and ONLY if the emotion has shifted… Have them try on a thought that feels neutral
This is important. 99.9% of the time, the mind cannot jump from a negative belief to a positive one, especially one that has been held for lifetimes. Imagine believing your whole life that you’re unlovable and jumping to I am lovable in a matter of an hour. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it’s not likely. We want to meet our clients where they’re at. So, rather than trying to have them believe something that feels unbelievable to them, help them find a bridge thought. Have them try it on and see how it fits. “How about, I AM?” Ask your client how that resonates with them. Ask them to check in with their body. “When you think, I AM, what do you notice in your body? What emotion arises?”
If it’s anything related to Calm, Peaceful, Neutral, Centered, Grounded then you’re on the right track. If you can’t find something that fits, don’t push it. They’re not ready. Let go & hold space. Extend compassion. Hold the vision of the spin flipping quietly to yourself while you continue the session. Intention is everything. And so is your loving presence.
I want to hear from you. How do you flip the spin? Where do you get challenged with this?